The Manhattan Essential presents: The New Exposition Building

TEMThe New Exposition Building

Those claiming our fair city has forsaken innovation before the bleakness of our times need only travel along Broadway, 5th Avenue, or 22nd Street–the busy sinew that ties our beloved Manhattan together–and cast their eyes upward. There they shall find a breathtaking renunciation.

Constructed for the 1896 New York Exposition Fair, this modern-day palace boasts twenty-three stories, advanced elevators, a forced-water fire suppression system and impenetrable foundations to hold safe its many inhabitants. Councilman Charles Taffy (may his wisdom persist!) paid for many of the improvements out of his own pocket; loathsome anarchists and the ever-envious agents of Philadelphia shall find no chinks in the New Exposition Building’s modern armor.

Its glittering flanks are guarded by nothing less than the divine: a total of six-hundred-and-fifty-four copper angels, each shaped by the artistes of Fohrmann Inc. in poses of unearthly beauty. Many of these cling to manfully to gigantic, glass globes set with electric lamps provided by the marvelous workshops of the New Edison Company. As the poet Ginn Wing-Holland wrote from Blackwell’s Lunatic Asylum: “The night sky itself envies the Teapot.”

In mentioning this incredible edifice’s charming nickname, we arrive at the most marvelous of its accouterments: the Exposition Elephant. No tawdry torchbearer or dull flagpole for this, our avatar of Flow Deco and the modern style, nothing less than a vast, rearing elephant shall serve. For upon the sixteenth floor stands that wise yet fierce lord of Lost Africa, his mighty bulk reaching well past the airship dock to trumpet the greatness of Manhattan to the vassal states and beyond.…

The Manhattan Essential presents: The Lower East Side



Your fearless friends at the Manhattan Essential (all rights reserved, accept no substitutes) endeavor to bring you, fortunate visitor to the City of the Isle, an accurate and utterly unbiased view of our fair city. In addition to our own keen observations, The Manhattan Essential also provides tidbits and asides from the Metropolitan Police, our faithful friends at the Church & State and (of course!) the advertisers that sets ink to our veins and fire to our purpose.

The Lower East Side

Venture south of 14th Street and the bold visitor can enjoy the multicultural bounty that makes fair Manhattan great. A dozen languages can be heard here, amid colorful neighborhoods that would not seem out of place in Constantinople or Kingstown or even socialistic Chicago. Visit the local grocer, shop along newly-renovated Mulberry Street and take in an afternoon show at the Magnus Theater. Business and pleasure for the adventurous await at either end of each and every street!

Marvel at local ingenuity as the East Side inhabitants gather fire escapes and overarching pipe systems into skyways, dead useful for the busy traveler. Walk without risk of stepping in offensive offal, as the bright-eyed lads of the city’s sanitation crews wage unceasing war against disorder. Tip your cap to the gallant and incorruptible men of the Metropolitan Police; each would lay down their life to protect the least of your parcels.

Conduct your commerce with utter confidence, as each and every sewer grate has been locked and warded behind cages of blessed steel.…